Reconciliation!

In my life I have struggled with such seething and utter hatred for my peers and society in itself for I have very overwhelming long history with sexual trauma from so many men. The first man who was to love me and to protect me is supposed to have been my father and unfortunately I was molested by him and other men who had positions that they had no business upholding. Then I ended up meeting a second much older man than I and he preyed upon me and my emotional vulnerability to feel desperately needed, loved and cared for. That situation didn't turn out well at all in fact quite the opposite! He ended up whispering sweet things in my ear and promised me the world.  He got me strung out on crack and the next day he turned around and shoved me out to the wolves in the terms of a better future for myself and put me out on the streets to sell my body. I was too young back then to know what was going on.  I ended up being trafficked across state lines and I was recruited into a National prostitution ring. I ended up in a vicious cycle of pimps and customers and furthermore the judicial system and jail became a revolving door for me.  I have ran into crooked police officers as well.  I finally got beyond the point of being desensitized by anything or anyone anymore. In fact,  I became disenfranchised with people and the world! I can now see how much seething self hatred that I have within myself. I just got saved eleven days ago and I have been having to really take a very hard look as to why for it doesn't just stop at the question why. It is up to me to listen to the Lord and to ask what I need to do for my healing and restoration of my mind? It became clear to me and I don't like what God has shown me as to where I need to even begin. I am to work on forgiveness towards my predators and with that will begin to reconcile the stuff inside of myself and my peace of mind.  I cannot fathom it yet when I read something in the word of God it is now a requirement that I forgive for if I don't there will never be any satisfaction. I was preserved for a mighty purpose and to despite the destruction of self now I am under the construction of God for I have been given much so much is required of me. I must start being obedient to him for of and by myself and left up to my own devices I have found myself at dis ease with myself so much to the point of wanting to crawl out of my skin. Since I became a born again daughter of God the father I'm no longer comfortable with things that I once was and I must start somewhere and that is aiming to reconcile things within myself for if I keep hanging onto it I am blocking the sunlight of the Holy Spirit working in my life.  I have been being told lately that I am going to have a ministry someday and I fully receive the calling and I name it and I claim that, however I have to make reconciliation with myself first before I get to that point.  For in the word I read it.
2nd Corinthians 5: 16 - 18 says this:
So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view.  Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer.  17. Therefore,  if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation: the old has gone,  the new has come! 18. All this from God,  who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.
Yes, the old has gone yet there's actions that I must take before I am refined in Christ.  It's a absolute requirement that I remain humble,  willing and teachable through getting my ultimate healing through the word of God!
Please don't give up five minutes before the miracle happens!